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ReadMOTORHEAD SUPPORT FOR OBAMA GOES FROM 0 TO 60 (Sports): DAYTONA BEACH — Republican strategists and Presidential candidate hopefuls are reeling from the shocking results of an ESPN/Daytona Beach Community College poll that shows support for President Barack Obama has rocketed among motor sports fans from 0.5% to 67%. Fox Sports color commentator Larry M . . . .
ReadCALABASH-HOOVER HIGH X-COUNTRY TEAM MISSING (Sports): PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- The Hoover High School Cross-Country Track team was reported missing Tuesday during a tri-state meet at Pistol Creek Junction. After a fast start, an apparent wrong turn at a fork in the woods caused the entire team to disappear. Worried parents pleaded with Coaches manning . . . .
ReadSPORTS REPORTER MISSING (Sports): HOUSTON -- Veteran Mudcat Falls THPPPGT sports reporter Spike Divot was reported missing while on-location in Houston, where he was covering the NFL's Super Bowl XXXVIII. He was last seen at a Saturday night party in the company of members of the Carolina Panther's "Top Cats" cheerleading squad. Ho . . . .
ReadPCU BULLETS WIN STREAK CHALLENGED (Sports): PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- The unprecedented twelve year home field winning streak of the Pistol Creek University Bullets football team is being challenged today by a coalition of teams from the Big River Athletic Conference, including our own local Mudcat Falls Community College Fighting Gourds, all . . . .
ReadGOURDS BOWL BID A BUST (Sports): EAST RUTHERFORD -- The Mudcat Falls Community College Fighting Gourds football team's invitation to the Dick Clark Censored TV Bloopers Bowl was discovered to have been a hoax when their supposed opponents, the Rutgers Scarlet Knights were a no show for the game. "Hey, they no-show, they forfeit an . . . .
ReadSPORTS FANS & INDIANS ON WARPATH (Sports): MUDCAT FALLS -- In a rare show of unity, sports fans and native American tribesmen have banded together with protest groups to fight the change in uniforms of the beloved hometown Hustlin' Hunkpapas for the upcoming season. "How am I supposed to root for a team all prissied up in pink jerseys, hot . . . .
Read"JUST SUE, BABY" (Sports): OAKLAND -- The final chapter of a football saga has finally been penned by, of all people, the Justices of the United States Supreme Court, thereby preserving for the ages the play renown the world over as the "Immaculate Reception." In a split 5-4 decision, the Court quietly overturned a 9th Circu . . . .
ReadHUMPY'S WRF BIKINI BASH A BUST (Sports): SPIDER RAPIDS -- The World Roadrage Federation's highly anticipated premier at Spider Rapids Speedway ended in chaos as thousands of fans collapsed the crash fence and stormed the infield after it was announced that the feature demolition derby event with bikini clad women behind the wheels of SUVs . . . .
ReadNEW CAREER FOR BLUESMAN? (Sports): PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- Local blues legend, Sonny "Bug Splat" Williams appears ready to embark upon a new career: race car driving. Williams was apprehended late last week after leading authorities through Calabash County on a chase at speeds estimated at up to 110 to 115 miles per hour, until swa . . . .
ReadTOPPS "IMMORTALS" SERIES PREMIERS (Sports): NEW YORK -- You can now own your favorite athlete's DNA without being the victim of a Class A felony with the new Topps "Immortals" series of trading cards and collectors are already lining up at local baseball card shops for their shot at claiming a certified copy of the molecular structure of the . . . .
Read2018 OLYMPIC BID WITHDRAWN (Sports): MUDCAT FALLS -- In a closed door session, the Executive Council of the Mudcat Falls Board of Tourism and Commerce quietly ended its plans to make a bid for hosting the 2018 Winter Olympics. "We really thought we had a shot to boost our community's prestige and economy, but the sting we feel today i . . . .
ReadLOCAL MAN TRAINS FOR U.S. OLYMPIC TEAM (Sports): MUDCAT FALLS -- Believing that it is only a matter of time before video games will be the next big Olympic event, local man Buster Higglesbottom is training for gold right here in Mudcat Falls. His rigorous routine starts at nine o'clock in the morning to prepare for what the self-proclaimed E-thle . . . .
ReadHUMPY'S CHASE BID HALTED (Sports): SPIDER RAPIDS -- All Humpy McCoy needed to do to win his fourth NASCAR Championship was to finish 25th or better in the final race of the season Saturday night, the R.K. Tube Steak 350 at Spider Rapids Speedway, but his quest was foiled when race officials black flagged McCoy after only 20 laps at . . . .
ReadGROUP TO NFL: CHANGE NAME OF CHIEFS (Sports): KANSAS CITY -- A group of local businessmen has formally petitioned the National Football League to change the official name of the Kansas City franchise from the "Chiefs" to the "CEOs". "It is actually a quite eloquent solution, because it resolves the angst of the Native American Indians caused b . . . .
ReadINSANITY DEFENSE IN NFL FUTURE? (Sports): NEW YORK CITY -- NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and players' union head Gene Upshaw met with nearly a dozen current and former players Tuesday to discuss a proposal for the NFL competition committee to allow players to appeal referee penalties based upon defenses of extreme emotional distress or di . . . .
ReadPROTEST MELEE MARS MARATHON (Sports): NEW YORK CITY -- Runners are seeing red over an anti-war protest that went awry at the start of this year's ING New York City Marathon, when a hastily formed CODE PINK picket line got trampled by the stampede of 37,000 contestants at the start of the race. Seventeen protestors were seriously injure . . . .
ReadFIREBALL FUMES OVER FEMMES (Sports): SPIDER RAPIDS -- Four time Cup champion Fireball Richards has lost his long time sponsor to unknown, undistinguished driver Mel Oglvie, who has yet to finish in the top thirty in any NASCAR race. RK Meat Packing Company, one of the nation's leading suppliers of hot dogs to public schools, universit . . . .
ReadPUBLISHER STRIPPED & HUMILIATED (Sports): MUDCAT FALLS -- The stage is set for a Calabash County courtroom showdown in what is certainly one of the most egregious cases of sports fraud since Rozi Ruiz faked the winning of the Boston Marathon, when Publisher Playboy Sonny Sticklefurter squares off against the Special Olympics Committee over . . . .

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