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Topps "Immortals" Series Premiers

NEW YORK -- You can now own your favorite athlete's DNA without being the victim of a Class A felony with the new Topps "Immortals" series of trading cards and collectors are already lining up at local baseball card shops for their shot at claiming a certified copy of the molecular structure of the world's greatest players, along with an action photo and player stats.

The move by Topps is the latest marketing salvo in the highly competitive trading card industry. In 2003, competitor Donruss cut up a Babe Ruth game-worn New York Yankees home jersey from 1925 -- one of three Ruth pinstripe jerseys in existence -- to insert swatches of the jersey into trading card packs. Donruss paid $264,210 for the item.

"It's un-freaking-believable. They've been camping out now for almost a week," said Gilbert Smickdongel watching the line outside his Barleycorn District card shop steadily grow in length. "The street price on the Immortals is going to be two or three hundred bucks a pack. And the secondary market will be explosive."

It has been a roller-coaster ride for the entire trading card business, which is battling back out of a slump from a $1.2 billion high in the early 1990s to only an estimated $400 million this year. Topps is being tight lipped about the contractual details of their deals with the athletes and leagues, but is promising collectors that the authenticity of the DNA on their cards will be certified by Orchid Cellmark, the recognized world leader in forensic DNA testing. Cellmark provided expert testimony for the prosecution in the O.J. Simpson trial.

"Wow, I mean, I could actually have a real piece of the real A Rod in my sock drawer," said Buster Higglesbottom from his lawn chair in line. "And, who knows, I played with chemistry sets. If I ever get a girl friend and have kids, maybe someday in the future they'll have molecular biology cloning sets and my boy will have one kick-ass little league team."

The new series of trading cards is widely believed to have been inspired, in part, by the freezing of Slugger Ted Williams by his son, John Henry Williams, after his death in 2002. The minute Williams took his last breath, hospital officials filled his body with blood thinner and stuffed it into a bag filled with dry ice for transportation to the airport in Ocala, Florida, where a plane chartered by Alcor Life Extension Foundation was waiting on the tarmac to whisk Williams off to it's cryogenics labs in Scottsdale, Arizona, for cold storage.

While Topps has made a concerted effort to avoid any bioethical controversies regarding their new product, anti-abortion and religious groups are condemning the series and claiming the company is "playing God."

One group that is quietly, but strongly supporting the Immortals Series is the Agents of Sports Stars & Entertainers Society (ASSES).

"This opens up a whole new line of business that could be a potential gusher for our future profits," said an unnamed agent of International Management Group, which represents Arnold Palmer, Tiger Woods, Annika Sorenstam, Venus Williams, Elizabeth Hurley and Liv Tyler. "Imagine not having to wait decades for biology to produce another Peyton Manning."



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