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2018 Olympic Bid Withdrawn

MUDCAT FALLS -- In a closed door session, the Executive Council of the Mudcat Falls Board of Tourism and Commerce quietly ended its plans to make a bid for hosting the 2018 Winter Olympics.

"We really thought we had a shot to boost our community's prestige and economy, but the sting we feel today is truly the agony of defeat," said MFBTC Chairperson Alicia Fingletart. "It appears that the initial research and studies we funded were grossly exaggerated and erroneous."

The Board had awarded a $2.4 million study contract to MFTV 11 PM Action News Weather Guru, Skip Nimbus, based upon his six part I-Team investigative report, Ice Cream or Ice Scream: A Titanic Weather Disaster, which raised the alarm that next ice age was much closer than anyone had predicted or imagined. Nimbus's study forecasted that rapidly declining temperatures would radically change the climate in Calabash County and the surrounding tri-state area, making it the perfect venue for winter sports within the next decade.

Ten eras of spreading ice sheets and falling seas have come and gone over the last million years and through that span, in fact, the cold spells have so dominated that geophysicists regard warm periods like the present one, called the Holocene, as the oddities. Scientist agree that the next ice age almost certainly will reach its peak in about 80,000 years, but debate persists about how soon it will begin, with the latest theory being that the human influence on the atmosphere may substantially delay the transition.

"I stand by my research and if I were you, I'd invest heavily in parka futures," said Nimbus of the results of his study. "The trending towards colder temperatures in this region is indisputable and, besides, I'm not giving back any of the money, no matter how much they whine."

Nimbus denied that his I-Team report was improperly influenced by the May Sweeps period in an effort to garner higher Nielson ratings.

"That Nimbus is a quack," said Board Member and local attorney Steve Dallas. "If he were a doctor, I'd haul him into court and have him screaming like a gut shot Comanche faster than you could say Jim McKay."



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