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ReadAN MODIST PRAPOSUL (Opinion): The graduation season will soon be upon us, with yet another senior class brimming with borderline illiterates peering out dumbfounded from beneath their mortar boards to be absorbed into society and we, as responsible citizens, are left to ponder whether the government is really delivering our mon . . . .
ReadA POX ON YOUR POLLS (Opinion): Polls show a majority of Americans want the troops to come home from the war in Iraq. Polls also show a majority of Americans would rather be home on their couch in front of the television than at work at their desk in front of a computer screen. We are sure that if a poll had been run in 1943, a m . . . .
ReadDAM THE TORPEDOES, BUT NOT OUR TOWN (Opinion): The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers recommendation to build a dam downstream from Mudcat Falls has caught local citizens and politicians alike by surprise. It seems that, once again, the civic leaders of Pistol Creek Junction have pulled a fast one on our beloved community by making a successful pitch . . . .
Read"TRUST US, WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING" (Opinion): "We [as a nation] are not educated well enough to perform the necessary act of intelligently selecting our leaders," CBS News legend Walter Cronkite told the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication last week. So, the man once known as the most trusted journalist in Am . . . .
ReadGUCCI, GUCCI GOOF (Opinion): We read with great interest our reporter's dispatch from the Calabash County Board of Commissioners meeting regarding Marjorie Needlemensch's presentation of the findings from her $1.3 million dollar study of local traffic patterns. The report has been greatly anticipated as a Mudcat Falls' best ch . . . .
ReadJUST SAY PELOSI (Opinion): It took over twenty years, but the Democrats finally got Nancy's message -- not Nancy Pelosi's, but Nancy Reagan's message, "Just say no." No to Tax Cuts! No to Iraq! No to Medicare Reform! No to Tort Reform! No to Social Security Reform! No to [Enter President Bush Policy Here] Now we only wonder . . . .
ReadINDEPENDENCE DAY, 2005 (Opinion): Turning and turning in a deepening gyre The editor cannot hear the reporter Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The web-dimmed tide is unleashed and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all convictions, while the worst Are full . . . .
ReadLET THEM EAT BUGS (Opinion): The aristocrats of the main stream media have finally stooped to the level of the most infamous mall rat in all of history, Marie Antoinette. As modern history unfolds with our nation's own unique ritual to select the holder of the highest political office in the world's most powerful nation, inste . . . .

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