 Read | TRUTH AND THE BASS BOAT VETS (Opinion): The old saw that politics makes strange bedfellows was never more true than during the current election season. In this case, Democratic Mayoral candidate John Fitzgerald Kiltkuff, several large-mouthed bass and a group of angry anglers. Kiltkuff, having accused incumbent Mayor Archibald Alabaster . . . . |
| Read | A SHOT HEARD ROUND OUR FOOT (Opinion): The next time you are riding on a Mudcat Falls Transit Bus, take a close look at the person sitting beside you. When you hoist your next beer in a Barleycorn district neighborhood tavern, make a careful note of your fellow brew aficionados. At the next Fighting Gourds football game, scrutinize the . . . . |
| Read | PARALYSIS BY PRENALYSIS (Opinion): [ed. note: Loosely translated from the French with apologies to Michel de Nostredame] Century 13, Quatrain 1 And there upon a grand grey lady's luxurious lap, A cold, dark shadow shall fall to veil her womanhood, Seduced into the blindness of noble self righteousness, Her lips will be lost to the t . . . . |
| Read | SHORT FUSE POWER PLAY (Opinion): We're just not buying the lame excuses of the Antelope Valley Power Co-Op for the recent power outage which darkened the western half of Calabash County during MFTV's Eleven PM Action News broadcast of Missile Smith's live, on-the-scene reporting from the protest to have Mudcat Falls declared a nuc . . . . |
| Read | SEND IN THE CLOWNS (Opinion): Making my entrance again with my usual flair, Sure of my lines -- no one is there. Don't you love farce? My fault, I fear; I thought that you'd want what I want - sorry my dear. The more we watch cable news, the more Stephen Sondheim's megahit comes to mind as the most appropriate score for what we . . . . |
| Read | IRAQNOPHOBIA (Opinion): Among the most common phobias lately amongst liberals and Democrats, the reactions of Iraqnonophobics often seem irrational to others (and sometimes to sufferers themselves, as well). They may camp out in a Texas ditch or even secretly contact Las Vegas sports book makers to help develop a therapeu . . . . |
| Read | BUTT UGLY LA SOUEUR (Opinion): While academics endlessly debate what common sense has already affirmed -- namely, whether 'Political Cheap Shot' is a redundant term -- we must unabashedly admire Councilman Sorrell Needlemensch's recent hat trick, as he scored locally, nationally and globally, in a single statement on a single is . . . . |
| Read | WE'D RATHER . . . NOT (Opinion): According to Webster's Dictionary: an · chor (an' ker) n. [M.E. anker <O.E. ancor < L. anc(h)ora Gr. ankyra, an anchor, hook] 1. a heavy object attached to a vessel by a cable or rope and cast overboard to keep the vessel in place either by its weight or by its flukes, which grip the bottom As we r . . . . |
| Read | AND HEALTH CARE FOR ALL . . . (Opinion): We at the Mudcat Falls Times-Herald-Post-Picayune-Press-Gazette-Tribune have watched the metastasizing health care crisis in our country and the raging infection of political debate over possible cures for its ills without yet having taken a stand on this critical issue. But now, our Editorial Boar . . . . |