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Humpy's Chase Bid Halted

SPIDER RAPIDS -- All Humpy McCoy needed to do to win his fourth NASCAR Championship was to finish 25th or better in the final race of the season Saturday night, the R.K. Tube Steak 350 at Spider Rapids Speedway, but his quest was foiled when race officials black flagged McCoy after only 20 laps at the request of the State Highway Patrol.

"If you own and operate a vehicle with at least four wheels, you are required by state law to carry automobile insurance," said State Highway Patrol Sergeant Broderick LaBonte. "We received an anonymous tip that the zero-one car was in noncompliance with those ordinances."

When McCoy was unable to produce a valid insurance card during a black flag pit stop, he was ordered to park his race car in the infield garage. McCoy refused to comply and proceeded to lead troopers and sheriff's deputies on a high speed chase that ended when McCoy cut a tire after brushing the wall at the Barleycorn District Dunkin' Donuts drive through.

"If I ever catch that weasel," declared McCoy, referring to his arch-rival Fireball Richards, who he accused of making the anonymous tip, "I'll make a track bar adjustment on his large intestine."

Richards denied calling the State Highway Patrol. His Crew Chief Earl "Lugs" McCrackle was unavailable for comment.

Sgt. LaBonte acknowledged that the roar of high performance engines in the background during the 911 call made understanding the caller a challenge.

McCoy was released Sunday morning after spending Saturday night in jail. Officially he finished thirty-seventh in the R.K. Tube Steak 350 and lost the season championship by sixty-two points.



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