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Union Outsources Picket Line

PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- A strike against the R.K. Meat Packing Company by the Congress of Lard and Animal Packers local #19 ended abruptly when agents of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement were called to the picket line in front of the company's Pistol Creek Junction factory yesterday afternoon.

Picketers, mainly of Hispanic descent, broke ranks and fled when the black I.C.E. Yukons pulled up, leaving embarrassed union officials to explain why they had outsourced the responsibilities of their members to undocumented workers.

"It was kind of difficult to get the guys to turn out," said CLAP #19 Shop Steward, Albert Slaughter, "What with the generous strike benefits we pay -- Most of the guys went bowling or hunting or golfing or something."

Company officials became suspicious at the fact that the protest signs were all in Spanish and picketers were calling workers reporting for work "el scaballeros."

Clinton Svinktaogle, President of the local American Civil Liberties Union, has vowed to file suit against the Pistol Creek company, which is one of the nation's leading suppliers of hot dogs to public schools, universities, professional sports venues and convenience stores, for discrimination and unfairly targeting Hispanics and Spanish-speaking people.

"Discrimination -- Hell!" exclaimed August A. Whorlmelmeir III, CEO of R.K. Meat Packing. "I wanted to hire the sons of bitches."

CLAP Local #19 workers returned to work today without a contract.



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