Go to News Headlines

Feds Raid Local Manufacturer

MUDCAT FALLS -- The Akooka Sporting Goods Company factory and offices in northeast Calabash County were raided by agents of the F.B.I., the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, who seized files, records, computers and finished goods inventory as they executed a federal search warrant.

Later in the day, the United States Justice Department unsealed a sixteen count indictment against the company for violations of the Patriot Act by providing material support and resources to al Qaeda.

"We have found cases upon cases of black ski masks produced by Akooka at terrorist training camps in Afghanistan and Iraq," said Wilhelm Klack, Trial Attorney in the Criminal Division of the Counterterrorism Section. "In tracing these shipments and transactions, the evidence is irrefutable that terrorists were getting deeper wholesale discounts than U.S. retailers, such as Walmart, Kmart and Dick's Sporting Goods."

Akooka President Erskine Boinkacre had no comment as he was taken into custody, but according to the company web site, the firm has a long history of aggressively penetrating new markets and creatively developing new applications for it's knitted sportswear products, including police SWAT teams, national insurgency movements and ninja dojos, which has helped to increase and level sales of what is normally a seasonal product.

"They're durable, comfortable and wash up nicely," said local SWAT team commander Lieutenant Kurt Krashin. "We've used them since 1984. I believe, if you look closely, the BATF guys were outfitted today with the Commander 5000 -- a top of the line model."

The local Walmart at the Pistol Creek Outlet Mall has already pulled all of its inventory of Akooka products.

"I don't know anything about treason or terrorism or anything like that," said Walmart store manager Walt Samson. "I just know nobody, but nobody gets a better price than Walmart, so the word came down from Bentonville to pull it all."

The family owned business, which has been producing sportswear since 1922 and was recently honored by the National Cotton Council of America for keeping textile jobs in the United States, is now closed for business.

Akooka is the Shemp-Pa-Queeg Indian tribe word for mosquito bite.



Go to News Headlines