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FDA Investigates Drug Warning Labels

WASHINGTON DC -- Responding to a growing number of complaints from parents and local prosecutors, the Food and Drug Administration has opened an investigation into the warning labels on prescription medications.

"Nobody has a problem with the usual disclaimers about dizziness, drowsiness, or anal leakage," said Dr. Lester Schwenkorkle, D.V.M., Vice Deputy Sub Administrator for Paperwork Affairs. "But some of the verbiage is over the top. They're starting cause problems within the legal system and they're scaring our very youngest citizens."

Among the examples cited by Schwenkorkle were:
Locally, a jury found Sissy Pickles-Parsons not guilty of murdering her sister Edith Pickles-Smyth and stuffing her body parts into forty-three separate Tupperware containers which had been found in the family freezer, when her attorney presented evidence that the antidepressants prescribed for Pickles-Parsons at the time could "cause periods of homicidal rage resulting in Patricide, Fratricide, spousal demise or other serial killings."

Spokesmen for pharmaceutical giants Merck, Pfizer, Bristol Myers and Eli Lilly declined comment.

Attorney Steve Dallas, who successfully defended Pickles-Parsons against the murder charges against her, has also filed a wrongful death suit against the drug company on behalf of the Pickles-Smyth family.



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