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Poll Approval Rating Polled

WASHINGTON DC -- An unreleased, top secret CBS News/Gallaudet University poll has revealed an alarming drop in the approval ratings of polls and traditional news media outlets.

In a survey of 1162 adults, the generic poll approval rating of polling organizations has fallen to a mere 22% and network news job approval ratings were 26%. Both numbers are even lower than both President Bush's job approval rating of 37% and congressional job approval rating of 29%.

"We're really talking apples and oranges here," whined Rasmussen spokesman Cassandra Kwery. "You just can't ask those kind of questions fairly and expect to get accurate results -- we're not the ones on trial here."

In a written statement, Gallaudet University declared that it stands by the integrity of its efforts and the accuracy of its findings.

The results appear to be born out by the fact that the nightly network newscasts of ABC, CBS and NBC have seen ratings decline by 34 percent in the past decade, nearly 44 percent since 1980 and 59 percent from their peak in 1969.

The secret poll was apparently leaked by a CBS news insider to FOX News reporter Juliet Huddy and aired originally on Fox and Friends.

CBS News Division President Sean McManus immediately vowed to make clamping down on the leaking of classified information his top priority.

Although the poll was commissioned by CBS News, no story about it has ever aired on the network.

"I just hate those FOX guys," CBS Evening News Anchor Bob Schieffer was heard to say during the credit roll at the end of last night's broadcast, unaware that his microphone was still on.



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