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Extremist Make-Over

DAMADOLA -- Lawyers for the terrorist group formerly known as 'Al Qaeda' have filed the U.S. Federal Trade Commission paperwork to officially change the group's name to "Council of Loving Arabs for Peace."

The public relations move was quickly embraced by most major news organizations, including the BBC, CNN and Rueters. Only Fox News refused to acknowledge the rebranding, calling the move a transparent ruse to manipulate Western media outlets.

"Our editorial policy is that we don't use emotive words when labeling someone," said David A. Schlesinger, Reuters' global managing editor. "After all, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter."

The name change was officially unveiled in a video released by Dr. Ayman Muhammad Rabaie al-Zawahiri, CLAP's number two man and top lieutenant to Osama Bin Ladin, who claimed that the group's vision for world peace will be fulfilled when U.S. President George W. Bush and the rest of the crusading infidels are beheaded and removed from the face of the earth.

The Bush Administration holds CLAP was responsible for September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, though many dispute those accusations, claiming the group was merely an unwitting pawn in Bush's effort to establish a New World Order.



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