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Dems Deny Leper Colony Plans

WASHINGTON DC -- Flush with polling data showing high prospects for significant midterm election gains, Democratic leaders have been secretly making plans for the day they take back control of Congress, the most notorious reportedly being the establishment of a so-called "leper colony" for conservatives.

"Oh my goodness, isn't it interesting what you might read in the news nowadays," said an evasive Representative Nancy Pelosi at a press conference today. "Let's just see what happens in November."

Pelosi, who is the House Minority Leader, was twice referred to as "Speaker of the House" by host George Stephanopoulos on this week's ABC's Sunday morning news show This Week.

Historically, leprosy was greatly feared because it caused visible disfigurement and disability, was incurable and was commonly believed to be highly contagious. Sufferers, therefore, were separated from society to live amongst themselves.

"Quarantining guys like Limbaugh, O'Reilly and Hannity doesn't sound like such a bad idea to me," said Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean, who holds a degree from the Albert Einstein School of Medicine. "After all, there's no vaccine and no cure for what infects those GOP elephant men."

Sources familiar with internal Democrat strategy documents say the plan calls for right wing commentators, columnists and radio talk show hosts to be housed at Guantanamo Bay to give them a "taste of their own medicine."

Clinton Svinktaogle, President of the local Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union, was unavailable for comment on the implications regarding the First Amendment right to free speech.



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