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Turning Out the Jailhouse Vote

MUDCAT FALLS -- The ACLU has filed suit against Sheriff Atticus W. Moosejowl and the Calabash County Jail on behalf of Edsel "Slash Face" Nelson for violations of his civil rights under the National Voter Registration Act of 1993.

"We strongly believe that voting is a fundamental right of every citizen," said Clinton Svinktaogle, Director of the Tri-State Chapter of the ACLU, "The government has denied Mr. Nelson the opportunity to renew his drivers license while he has been incarcerated, thereby disenfranchising him and denying him his most fundamental of all constitutional rights. After all, this is supposed to be government of by people and by the people."

Section 5 of the NVRA requires states to provide individuals with the opportunity to register to vote at the same time that they apply for a driver's license or seek to renew a driver's license, and requires the State to forward the completed application to the appropriate state of local election official.

According to Svinktaogle, had disenfranchised felons been permitted to vote in the 2000 election, Vice President Al Gore's national margin of victory in the popular vote would have surpassed one million votes and he would have easily carried Florida to become President.

"Trust me, Ol' Slash Face ain't gonna be needing a driver's license for at least the next three to five years," said Sheriff Moosejowl.

Ironically, Nelson was convicted of grand theft auto, driving on a suspended license and failure to yield.



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