Go to Sports Headlines

RIAA Sues Fighting Gourds

WASHINGTON DC -- A recording-industry trade group has filed suit against the Mudcat Falls Community College Fighting Gourds Marching Band for copyright violations. The charges brought by the Recording Industry Association of America stem from the band's hugely popular half time rendition of "Louie, Louie", written by Richard Berry in 1955 and made popular by The Kingsmen and Paul Revere and the Raiders in the 1960s, as part of their new, more aggressive tactics to arrest the skid in CD sales.

"There is no question that the activities of those being targeted by the RIAA are illegal. and it is our most sincere desire to identify a technological solution to the perpetual plague of the persistent pathological piracy of the populace," said Jack Valente, President of the Motion Pictures Association of America. "We have to stop these fancy pants hooligans who would cheat the hundreds of thousands of working people in the music and movie industries, threatening the very livelihood of those limo drivers and gardeners and chambermaids who cater to our executive needs."

The lawsuit is asking for statutory damages of $150,000 per count from each member of the band, from the cheerleaders who lead football fans in the public singing of the chorus and from each of the approximate 24,000 Fighting Gourds season ticket holders. Also at issue in the case are separate charges arising from the use of the letter 'M' during the band's marching formations as being protected under both copyright and trademark laws by the world's leading on-line music entertainment company, MTV, a division of Viacom.

"I didn't know you could copyright a letter of the alphabet," said MFCC Chancellor Emil Ferrott. "Besides, when we say 'on-line' we're talking about the fifty-yard line here, for crying out loud, not the internet."

"Fifty yards is obviously hacker-speak for bandwidth," said Hilary Rosen, Chairman and CEO of RIAA, responding to inquiries on the suit. When pressed to explain her comments relative to a marching band without electronic instruments or computers, she excused herself with a curt, "I'm sorry, I'll have to get back to you on that."

Rumors abound that Pistol Creek University Bullets Head Coach William "Buck" Rodgers reported the violations against his arch rival as a "psyche out" in an attempt to humiliate the Fighting Gourds at their homecoming game.

"You know, when you sing 'Happy Birthday' to your mom, you don't owe a royalty payment to the copyright holders, Mildred and Patty Smith Hill," said attorney Steve Dallas, who has already received at least 7,422 retainers from various defendants named in the suit. "I pledge to fight to the final coda for each and every one of the nearly 30,000 football marching band boosters that Mr. Valente and his ilk are trying to milk and bilk to adorn themselves in silk."

The MFCC Fighting Gourds lost their homecoming game 63-3 to the PCU Bullets.



©2003 MFTHPPPGT




www.mudcatfalls.com



Go to Sports Headlines