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Reid Plays Race Card Again

WASHINGTON DC -- Majority Leader Harry Reid took to the Senate floor to once again blast Republicans as racists and obstructionists for opposing sweeping changes proposed for the annual United States Congressional Baseball Game.

"Instead of joining us on the right side of history, all the Republicans can come up with is, ’slow down, stop everything, let’s start over.’ If you think you’ve heard these same excuses before, you are right," Reid said Monday. "When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery and segregation, there were those who dug in their heels to oppose Jackie Robinson playing for the Brooklyn Dodgers or to insist that Curt Flood be traded like a common slave to the Philadelphia Phillies."

Reid, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and fellow Democrats are pushing to re-write the rules of baseball in an effort to reverse the GOP's 41-33 edge in the annual political spectacle. Unfortunately, their parliamentary majority is of little merit, since the Official Rules of Baseball are not yet established by legislation.

Intractable Republicans steadfastly oppose a government take over of sports, claiming that it will ruin competition and eventually put major league sports out of business by making it as boring as CSPAN.

Democrats insist that the free competition system is unfair and discriminatory. They seek to ration the number of hits, runs and player at bats per inning in order to "level the playing field" and to insure universal scoring.

"There are hundreds of millions of citizens who have never scored a run, a touchdown, a basket or a goal in their life," said Congressman Barney Frank, who represents the Fourth Congressional District of Massachusetts. "Scoring is a basic human right."

President Barack Obama supports sports reform and may be planning a trip to Cooperstown to help solidify a deal.

"I did not play organized baseball when I was a kid and so, you know, I think some of these natural moves aren't so natural to me," Obama said during his weekly radio address, "but we are on the brink of a historic and unprecedented overhaul and reform of our national sport."

Controversy surrounded President Obama's ceremonial first pitch at this year's Major League All Star Game. Proposed reform would also reduce the distance from the pitcher's mound to home plate from sixty feet, six inches, effective retroactively to January 1, 2009.

The United States Congressional Baseball Game is an annual baseball game played by members of the United States Congress. The game began as a casual event among colleagues in 1909 and eventually evolved one of Washington, D.C.'s most anticipated annual pastimes. Each summer, Representatives and Senators don baseball uniforms, organize teams along party lines, and play ball for charity.



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