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Speed Record Disqualified

BORDON -- The World Sailing Speed Record Council has disqualified a local man's bid for the world's fastest outright 500 meter speed on a windsurfer.

Calabash County daredevil Willy "Hold My Beer" Patch claims to have bested the current record of 48.70 knots held by Finian Maynard of the British Virgin Islands by over 115 knots when he caught a push from F3 tornado on a stretch of the river near Gila Bend.

"That was one hell of a ride and I beat that record fair and square," said Patch during an interview at Stevie Ray's Blues Club. "And now those limeys are conspiring to take it away from me."

Witnesses, including local three-time Bassmasters Champion Porky Chumwater and his bait caddy Happy Triptafyn, clocked Patch covering the 500 meter distance in 5.9 seconds, which equates to a speed of 164.75 knots.

"Ol' Patch was really humping along," said Chumwater, "Til him and his board ended up in that oak tree in the middle of the Spider Rapids trailer park."

The Council refused to ratify the speed as a record, because the course was not defined by WSSRC approved GPS equipment and a review of photographic evidence indicated that the record may have been achieved in flight, not afloat.

Patch has retained attorney Steve Dallas to appeal the decision and sue for damages.








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