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Checkmate for MFCC Chess Club

PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- The Mudcat Falls Community College Chess club was trounced by their arch rivals, the Pistol Creek Bullets at the twentieth annual Calabash County Bobby Fisher Memorial Round Robin Elimination Tournament.

"I wasn't nervous. I don't know why, but I just couldn't concentrate. I tried. I tried so hard, but I couldn't focus," wept MFCC Gourds team captain, Philodor Rookleskien, who broke down in tears after his defeat in seven moves. "We thought that dressing up like Devo would give us the psychological edge for our matches -- that's what coach told us -- but no one expected this. Oh the humanity."

Gourds Team Coach Gunther Uberflassen immediately filed an appeal with the Federation Internationale des Echecs over alleged improprieties by the Bullets pawn pushers, as well as a missing persons report for three of his players, who disappeared shortly after their matches. The AWOL players were later discovered in the intimate company of some of their competitors.

"Look at them! Look at them," exclaimed Uberflassen. "They disgrace the honor of the great game of chess."

The Pistol Creek Bullets went on to sweep all of their matches.

The victory was the first ever, all-female victory in the twenty year history of the CC Bobby Fisher Tournament.

"I really, really, really hope they come again to next year's tournament," said Mikey Zugzwang, one of the Gourds players who had been reported missing.



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