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PCU Win Streak Challenged

PISTOL CREEK JUNCTION -- Pistol Creek University Athletic Director and Bullets football team Head Coach Bo Lumbaguchek has been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation into alleged improprieties involving the use of sideline psychics to predict the play calling of opponents.

"Every time I went out of bounds on their side, some gypsy looking weirdo was trying to touch me," said Mudcat Falls Community College Fighting Gourds split end Freddie Blintz. "Like they was trying to read my mind or maybe channel our quarterback's thoughts through me or something."

Although sideline electronic audio and video surveillance is clearly against NCAA rules, officials were unclear whether paranormal intelligence gathering is prohibited. Lumbaguchek denies any wrong-doing.

The Barleycorn District offices of the Spengler-Stantz Sports Psychics Placement Agency, which was under contract to the PCU Department of Athletics, was unexpectedly closed during regular business hours and numerous voice mails went unreturned.

The PCU Bullets had thus far not only gone undefeated during the season, but had shut out every one of their opponents.

"I never did believe any of that crystal ball crap, but it was like he could read my damn mind," said arch-rival Woody Molar, MFCC Gourds Head Coach. "Make no mistake, though, old Bo would sell his very soul to the devil to win a football game."

Britney Spears claims to have always known she would be famous, because a 'clairvoyant' grabbed her on Bourbon Street in New Orleans one day when she was ten years old and predicted to her mother that "everyone was going to know her name."



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