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Legend's Lost Legacy Found

GREEN BAY -- Controversy from the Ice Age of the NFL has risen from the frozen tundra in Green Bay, Wisconsin, as sports archeologists have unturfed what is purported to be the lost play book of legendary Head Coach Vince Lombardi.

When construction workers performing repairs to Lambeau Field, home to the NFL's storied Green Bay Packers franchise, discovered a buried cache of documents, a go-team from the University of Wisconsin Department of Anthropology was dispatched immediately from Madison to the site with brushes and sifters at the ready.

"I want that sum bitchin' play book," declared an enraged Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who immediately made a sight unseen offer of $15 million dollars for the contents of what was later reported to be a Coleman cooler. "Ya just can't have the greatest trophy in all of the sports universe named after a durn cheesehead."

The winner of the NFL's Superbowl, the most watched American television event of the year, receives the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Unnamed sources in the Cowboy's organization claim that Jones is trying rehabilitate his image by belatedly attempting to make amends for the unceremonious 1989 dumping of beloved Coach Tom Landry, who piloted the self-proclaimed "America's Team" to 270 victories, including two Superbowl wins during his twenty-nine year reign in Dallas.

Lombardi and Landry, as Offensive and Defensive Coordinators respectively, coached opposites sides of the ball for the New York Giants during the Fifties, before becoming NFL head coach rivals pitting Landry's innovative 4-3 Flex Defense against Lombardi's patented "Run to Daylight" sweeps during the Sixties.

Lawyers for the Cowboys have filed suit in Federal Court, contending the lost play book will finally confirm long rumored allegations that Lombardi turned off the heating coils he had installed beneath Lambeau Field during the infamous 'Ice Bowl' to give his team an unfair advantage in their forty below zero, 21-17 Championship Game victory on New Year's Eve, 1967. Jones is also asking for $1.65 billion in damages from the NFL and the Lombardi family.

Lawyers for the Packers have subpoenaed the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, though it is unclear how their testimony will bear on the legal issues of the case.



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