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DHS KOs Hunkpapas

MUDCAT FALLS -- In a stunning raid during the seventh inning stretch of Friday night's game, a Department of Homeland Security investigation into the terrorist activities of the Mudcat Falls Hustlin' Hunkpapas reached a dramatic climax, as black Suburbans belched ICE and FBI agents onto the diamond of storied Cheeze-Its Field to serve subpoenas and execute search warrants.

In a brief written statement released by the office of DHS Secretary Michael Chertoff, the government refused to comment on an active investigation, though rumors had long been rampant that the team was under the watchful eye of the Feds for aiding and abetting Al Qaeda since they had failed to win a single game this season, thereby defaming the national pastime and eroding the nation's morale and will to wage war on terrorism.

Eccentric Hunkpapas owner and sports mogul Colonel Ichabad Cathcart Angleiron, emphatically denied any conspiracy or wrong doing by his organization, though he publically admitted, "Even I get suspicious of those Venezuelan Hugo-Nuts in the infield."

Hometown fans initially cheered at what they thought was a special effects entertainment show, then rioted upon learning that the Hustlin' Hunkpapas had to forfeit a game that, ironically, they were leading 12-3, when most of their Latin American players remained unaccounted for after the raid and a complete team could not be fielded to play the remaining innings.



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