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Butt Ugly la Soueur

While academics endlessly debate what common sense has already affirmed -- namely, whether 'Political Cheap Shot' is a redundant term -- we must unabashedly admire Councilman Sorrell Needlemensch's recent hat trick, as he scored locally, nationally and globally, in a single statement on a single issue.

When Mayor Archibald Alabaster selected Remoulaque in Central France as a "sister city" for Mudcat Falls last year, few could have predicted then the shift in sentiments resulting from the actions of the so-called "Axis of Weasel," as France, Germany and Russia conspired to oppose Operation Iraqi Freedom. Fewer still realized that the choice would allow the Mayor and his family to visit his wife's old country relatives on the city's nickel.

Missing that last point completely, Needlemensch fearlessly weighed in on the matter at last week's city council meeting by calling Remoulaque "just too damn butt ugly -- like Gary, Indiana -- with citizens who couldn't pass muster for a pig roast, to be our fair city's civic sibling."

While we await the inevitable hue and cry of the reactions to the insults hurled, not only at a NATO ally and another American city, but at the family of our beloved First Lady of Mudcat Falls, we must pause in a moment of awe at the simplicity, the succinctness, breathless efficiency and scope of the Councilman's comments.

They don't make them like they used to -- Thank God.


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