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No Shoes, No Shirt, No Blues

MUDCAT FALLS -- A bizarre, yet entertaining, new chapter in the Civil Rights movement may have been written at Arlotta's Downtown Diner, when a mini-riot broke out after a member of the world's most renown modern day mime troupe, The Blue Man Group, was refused counter service.

"I don't speak mime and I couldn't figure out whether he wanted a Denver Omelet or a bikini wax for his head," said clearly flustered proprietrix Arlotta McGurdy. "We finally had to ask him to leave, cause he kept drumming on everything and throwing marshmallows and sugar cubes at people's mouths."

The man, purported to be Blue Man #2, returned a short time later with his cohorts and began what various observers described as a "ground-breaking," "hilarious," "visually stunning" and "musically powerful" three-man picket line outside the diner. As word of a protest quickly spread, the Blue Man Group was joined by radicals from local community college and university campuses.

"They shouldn't be allowed to discriminate against people just because of their skin color, especially when they demean an entire race of people with their so-called 'Blue Plate Special' for rich, white Republicans," Pistol Creek University sophomore Penelope Parsnip pleaded passionately. "Who do these hay-seed hicks think they are anyway? It's just not right and it's just not fair and it's obviously all George W. Bush's fault."

"Who is she calling a hick?" responded Diner client Orley Bovine. "I ain't the one who looks like I fell into the Tidy Bowl whilst slakin' my thirst."

A scuffle ensued between students and diner regulars as Dr. Jackson Selma Montgomery, Jr., preacher at the Southside Baptist Church and second generation local civil rights leader, led the crowd in chanting, "We're black, and blue, we have the right to chew."

The multi-sensory protest reached its peak when tear gas was dispensed after a protester jostled Sheriff Atticus W. Moosejowl patrol car spilling hot Dunkin Donuts coffee into his lap. The Blue Man Group performers, as well as dozens of protesters, were taken into police custody, cited for disorderly conduct and parading without a permit, then later released.

"I ain't seen nothing like this since . . . " stammered Sheriff Atticus W. Moosejowl. "Whaaalll, I just ain't seen nothing like this."



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