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Group Calls HDTV National Eyesore

SIOUX CITY -- Coming on the heels of the networks' launch of their new fall season, the latest entertainment consumer craze, high definition television, has come under assault with the revival of an old medical claim from the earliest days of TV.

The Council for Limiting Acuity Problems has released an interim report on their on-going study of the health hazards for children resulting from the proliferation of big screen TVs, including loss of eyesight, obesity, autism, premature puberty, declining test scores in math and science, rising crime rates among adolescents and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

"We all heard our mothers telling us not to sit too close to the television or we'd ruin our eyes," said local CLAP Chairperson Alicia Fingletart. "Well American living rooms are simply not big enough for our young citizens to move back far enough from the new forty-two and fifty inch television sets to save their eyesight."

Although Congress only recently passed the "Digital Television Transition and Public Safety Act of 2005" to mandate HDTV over the airwaves in the United States by 2009, CLAP is calling on leaders in the House and Senate to hold hearings on the dangers of the new viewing format before it reaches pandemic proportions.

"It is heartbreaking that I already have several potential clients who have come to me because their children's lives are now ruined," said local attorney Steve Dallas. "If it worked with the tobacco companies, then we believe that Sony, Samsung, Hitachi, ABC, CBS and NBC should all answer for the damages and ruination they have caused, too.

Hollywood, though, does not appear to be taking this threat lying down and has been quick to circle the wagons.

"What do mothers know about their kids, anyway," CBS President Les Moonves lashed out. "The Nielsen Ratings clearly show that we spend more time with their children than they do and they are doing just fine, thank you very much."






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