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Bubble Man to Run Time-Warner

NEW YORK CITY -- H.H. Knott, the uncle of local bubble boy Will Knott, is widely rumored to be the man who will become the next President and Chief Operating Officer of the world's largest media company.

"Our sources say that Knott did very well in the interview process -- everything they threw at him just seemed to bounce right off," said Neil Cavuto, FOX News Anchor and Managing Editor of Business News. "He is truly an inspiration to persons with handicaps that they can achieve the highest heights, despite their disabilities."

Knott, a former executive at BASF who is probably best known -- as well as cursed -- as the inventor of blister pack packaging, has lived and worked his entire life in specially made isolation suits to protect his immune system from infection from germs and bacteria.

Time-Warner has divisions involved in the Internet, publishing, film, telecommunications and television, including America On-Line, CNN, HBO, TIME, People, Sports Illustrated, Mad Magazine, DC Comics, New Line Cinema, Castle Rock Entertainment and Turner Broadcasting System.

The company has had no comment on any candidate or their selection for the next President.

Detractors say that Knott is not a shoo-in, as he is often aloof and seems disconnected from events around him, while, paradoxically, supporters cite those same attributes as signs of independence and a fresh outlook sorely needed at the media giant after the AOL debacle that resulted in a loss of 99 billion dollars in 2002--at the time, the largest loss ever reported by a company.



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