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"Mickey Mouse" Feud Steams into Town

BURBANK -- Calabash County has unexpectedly become the latest battleground for the high profile corporate clash and board room in-fighting over the future of the entertainment juggernaut founded by Walt Disney, when lawyers representing the media conglomerate filed for a temporary injunction against a local businessman.

In papers filed in U.S. District Court of Southern California, Mick's Vermin Annihilation Service stands accused of copyright infringement in the unauthorized use of protected images and trademarks in marketing and promotional materials, specifically the image of a rodent, which Disney attorneys claim bears a striking similarity to the beloved, Oscar Award winning, Official Disney Theme Park Greeter, Mickey Mouse, caught in a mousetrap spray painted on the side of the company's so called "Vermin Van" and "Funny Money" gift certificates.

"It's what I do. I kill stuff, mice included," said Michael "Mick" Mulligan from the crawl space of a bungalow in the Tent City section of Mudcat Falls where he was servicing his latest client. "And they been callin' me 'Mick' since the third grade. So what's their freakin' beef?"

Later that same day the Boeing Business Jet of Roy Disney touched down at Douglas Corrigan Memorial Aerodrome, staying just long enough for Roy Disney to hold a press conference during which he denounced Chairman Michael Eisner as a "rat" and a "louse" who has made the company founded by his beloved uncle "rapacious, soulless and always looking for the quick buck."

Long simmering tensions flared when Walt's nephew resigned from the Disney Board of Directors at the end of 2003 in protest over the leadership of Eisner and founded the savedisney.com web site to force the Chairman to step down.

"This is a real struggle in which Michael and 10-20 suits surrounding him continue to reward themselves with bonuses and raises," says Stanley P. Gold, a one-time corporate raider who manages Disney's investments — among them about 1% of Disney — as head of Shamrock Holdings. "They're doing it on the backs of the workers, the little guys, and they're doing it on the backs of the parks and now they're picking on ordinary working stiffs out here in middle America."

Disney and Gold were flanked by representatives of the National Pest Management Association and executives from local firm Bio-Die in a show of solidarity. Their Boeing Bizjet departed approximately twenty-two minutes after it arrived.

Mere moments later, a Gulfstream V with Michael Eisner aboard touched down to issue a barely audible rebuttal from the cabin door while the turbine engines ran, before quickly departing again eastbound.

"Who do these guys think they are? What? They got themselves a trademark on fancy red pants? I don't think so," said Steve Dallas, the attorney representing Mick's. "The mouse is the second most populous mammalian species on Earth, after Homo sapiens -- and to me they all look alike -- so we do not believe they have a paw to stand on."

The Walt Disney Company grossed $30 Billion in 2004, approximately $29,999,937,500 more than Mick's Vermin Annihilation Service did during the same reporting period.

Neither Disney's nor Eisner's feet ever actually touched the ground during their brief visits to Calabash County.




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