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Planet Hollywood Curse Hits Main Street

MUDCAT FALLS -- In yet another tolling of the death knell for theme restaurants, downtown's own Baghdad Bar-B-Q has closed. The eatery, which proclaimed itself "Where the Sunni meets the South," never quite caught on with local patrons, despite its clever combination of Desert Storm camoflague decor, Chuck E. Cheese-esque arcades like the Wack-O-Sama, belly dancers, and southern fried fesenjan, tahdig and ashipalav.

"We thought that the local sportsmen would really like the shooting gallery, which had, you know, Arab celebrities like the Ayatollah, Yassir and Saddam Husseain instead of bears and ducks," said suddenly unemployed waitress Anita Klumplick. "I got me a pretty rug for my trailer, but that don't make up for getting six dollars and forty-two cents in tips every night."

Councilman Sorrell Needlemensch has questioned the propriety of tax breaks extended to the owner by the city and is calling for a full investigation. "What did the Mayor know? And when did he know it?" demanded the long-time Democratic nemisis of Mudcat Falls' Chief Executive.

Mayor Archie Alabaster's office had no immediate comment on the situation, but an unnamed source at city hall noted that an impressive Power Point presentation accompanied by some tasty ribs and pulled pork sandwiches had everyone "drooling" over the propect of the restraurant becoming a county-wide landmark attraction that could have anchored a revitalization of the Mudcat Falls urban area, but denied in the strongest terms possible any improprieties on the part of elected officials.

Baghdad Bar-B-Q owner Al Kieder could not be reached for comment. It is believed that he has moved to Florida and enrolled in a flying school.

"He always was the dreamer," said Klumplick.

©2002 MFTHPPPGT




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