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Swapping Spaces -- Trading Blows

MUDCAT FALLS -- Producers of The Learning Channel's popular cable television show, "Trading Spaces," are admitting to casting miscalculations in the segment recently filmed in Mudcat Falls. Although the show's format intentionally plays on the potential for the exercise of bad taste and the outrageous, the "stripping and ripping" got a bit out of control when the show invited the Hatfield clan to trade rooms with the McCoys -- a recipe for mayhem, as anyone up and down the river for fifty miles could have told you.

"It started out all right, but very, very quickly degenerated into total chaos," bemoaned Executive Producer Denise Cramsey as she was quickly leaving town to return to Los Angeles. "I still can't believe the damage that was done in a mere two days. We've never had any episode like it, where we've had to finish up the show sharing the champagne with State Farm claims representatives."

"Trading Spaces" selects two sets of neighbors who swap keys and attack -- literally in this case -- a room in each other's house for an interior decorating makeover. The teams have two days, a set budget and they're not allowed back into their own homes until the redecorating has been completed.

"The McCoys had what sounded like a clever idea for transforming the Hatfield's rather bland, conventionally paneled Rec Room with a mauve, Southwestern theme," said show designer Frank Bielec. "But once they started taking things apart, they just never stopped. It was a demolition frenzy. I'm just glad there wasn't any dynamite laying around -- although honestly you couldn't tell from looking at their handiwork."

The show carpenter helping the McCoys lost his life in a freak chain saw incident at the Hatfield home. His name is being withheld pending notification of the next of kin.

"When the Hatfields said that they wanted to turn an extra bedroom into a trophy room, I had something completely different in mind," explained Genevieve Gorder. "I thought that the McCoys might have been athletes, race drivers or perhaps, considering the locale, sportsmen, but the boys dragged me up and down every goddamned highway in the valley whooping and hollering as they collected every bit of road kill they could find in the back of their pick up truck, which they brought back to the house and proceeded to nail and glue all over the walls and ceilings. It was so gross. And, Jesus, the stench! Our team did come in under budget, though."

The Learning Channel has not set an air date, pending a review of the situation by their corporate legal department. The total amount of the final damages was not released, but the Calabash County Building Department has condemned both residences. Neither the Hatfields nor the McCoys were available for comment, though gunfire could be heard echoing in the distance through the woods behind their properties.

Ever upbeat and perky, host Paige Davis said, "I think this was the best show ever! It was so much fun working with the boys and they were really, really funny guys. I can't wait to watch it myself."





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