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Scouting SNAFU Over Lightning Strike

IRVING -- Lawyers for the Boy Scouts of America National Council are denying the allegations of local man, Art Batch, that injuries suffered during the regional Gila Bend Jamboree resulted from his responsibilities as a Scout Master.

Batch recently awoke from a six week coma at Calabash Memorial Hospital after being struck by lightning while leading his Webelo troop on the annual camping retreat that draws nearly 3,500 campers.

"It is simply not the case that the Scouts have a Homeland Security Merit Badge as Mr. Batch's suit alleges," said Simon Flinch, partner in the Dallas-based law firm Flinch, Flicker and Foxworthy, which is defending the BSA in the fifty million dollar negligence suit. "Nor is teaching our young men to climb telephone poles during a thunderstorm to steal cable TV a part of their program."

An RCA cable-ready TV was discovered in Batch's tent at the Jamboree after his accident.

A vital part of the BSA's advancement plan, the merit badge program is one of Scouting's basic character-building tools. Through participation in the program, a Scout acquires the kind of self-confidence that comes only from overcoming obstacles to achieve a goal. Instruction is offered in everything from animal science and public speaking to swimming and communications, providing a young man with invaluable career, physical, and interpersonal skills.

"I am shocked -- shocked, I tell you -- to learn that the Scouts are so pathetically weak on national defense and the war on terrorism," said local attorney Steven Dallas, who is representing Batch. "Surreptitious eavesdropping and electronic communications interception are much more important skills in this dangerous world than archery and basketry."

Dallas vowed to go to trial as soon as Batch recovers from residual symptoms of amnesia sufficiently enough to testify under oath.



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