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Experts Isolate Blogging Disease

MUDCAT FALLS -- Scientists have identified a alarming new disorder that is exploding to pandemic proportions. Attention Excess Hyperactivity Disorder or AEHD is a recently discovered twin companion to the more widely known Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, which researchers claim is largely responsible for the blogging phenomenon.

"The endless and excruciating detailing of minutia contained in the so-called blogosphere is directly linked to a clinical fixation mania that we have identified in our laboratory rats and student volunteer subjects," explained Gunther Uberflassen, Mudcat Falls Community College Adjunct Professor of Psychology and founder of Curing the Litany of Attention Psychoses. "It most nearly resembles an addiction to methamphetamines and in extreme cases, ends up with the patient in a near catatonic state exhibiting what we call the 2000 megapixel stare."

CLAP claims it is negotiating with several major pharmaceutical companies to develop and license medication to treat the malady, including Novartis, the manufacturer of Ritalin.

Technorati, an internet search engine for blogs, has indexed over 55 million weblogs. Although the Perseus Market Research firm claims that nearly 66% of blogs they have surveyed are either permanently or temporarily abandoned, Uberflassen diagnoses those bloggers as attentionally bipolar, a chronic combination of ADHD and AEHD.

In a rare alliance between politics and journalism, the U.S. Congress, lobbied heavily by major media corporations including CNN, CBS and the New York Times, has fast tracked legislation to find a cure for AEHD in order to eradicate the on-line activity which often bedevils them by providing commentary or news on a particular subject, especially politics and current events.




©2006 MFTHPPPGT




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