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Local Man Charged in Hollywood Hate Crime

BURBANK -- The first man arrested and charged under the new Hollywood Hate Crime statutes of California was local man Rodney Slackjaw, who was apprehended while standing in line at NBC's Burbank studios for tickets to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Slackjaw is alleged to have made disparaging remarks about NBC's hit comedy Will and Grace, despite its nominations for 73 Emmys, 27 Golden Globes, seventeen SAG awards and twelve people's Choice Awards, while vacationing with his family in Los Angeles.

"I just don't like the show, damn it, and I said so. I thought we had a little thing called freedom of speech here in America," said Slackjaw at his arraignment. "All I wanted to do was see Larry the Cable Guy on Leno."

According to witnesses, Slackjaw observed a poster for the sitcom starring Eric McCormack, Debra Messing, Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally and immediately began a loud, bellicose critique of the show.

"He called Jack a 'witless and infantile idiot, like a gay Jerry Lewis' -- right in front of my daughter!" said Chatsworth resident Moonbeam Hinklefritz. "Then the intolerant, sexist pig said Grace was hotter than somebody named Lucy, but not as funny."

Young Apple Hinklefritz was treated and released from the Psychiatric ward of Cedars Sinai Hospital.

In the series Will & Grace are best friends. Will is a gay lawyer and Grace is a straight interior designer. They both live in New York. Grace is engaged to a real jerk, but when that relationship falls apart, she moves in with Will. This is only supposed to be until Grace finds a place of her own, but she and Will end up with each other as permanent roommates. Also in the cast are Jack, Will's flamboyant gay friend and Karen, Graces' secretary/assistant who doesn't really need to work because she married money several times.

In a plea agreement, Slackjaw pleaded nolo contendere and was sentenced to seven years of reruns, after which he would be exiled from California for a period of not less than three years.

"No problem," was Slackjaw's only comment, when asked about the severity of his probation after watching all 168 episodes of the first seven seasons of Will and Grace while waiting under armed guard for a departing flight at Los Angeles International Airport.





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