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Science Finds Suburban Brand of Blues

MUDCAT FALLS -- Combining psycho-analysis and musicology, Mudcat Falls Community College Adjunct Professor of Psychology Gunther Uberflassen has released a comprehensive study discovering and tracing an evolutionary species of the Blues musical genre unique to inhabitants of the sprawling sub-divisions of suburbia.

"I was inspired by Martin Scorsese's multimedia celebration of the great African-American contribution to our culture," said Uberflassesn. "But it also made me reflect on my own heritage and search the troubled soul of my people, enslaved as they are on their suburban plantations by corporate America, to see how we find our own solace and release in music."

Called "The Mauves," Uberflassen believes that the music of Barry Manilow, Michael Bolton and John Tesh captures and ultimately expresses middle class suffering, angst and malaise every bit as powerfully as Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf gave voice to the melancholy, alienation and depression of former slaves.

"Who cannot witness a karaoke night of salesmen, close their eyes and not think of field hollars and spirituals?" asked Uberflassen earnestly. "Hey, we have diminished hopes and frustrated expectations, too, or has anyone missed the exploding market for lithium and Prozac on the far edge of town?"

The study purports to identify numerous strains of the newly discovered musical form: Delta Mauves, Chicago Mauves, Texas Mauves and Country Mauves, each with their own variations and idiosyncrasies.

Uberflassen's study has been met with skepticism and outright scoffing in the musical community.

"We just don't see the connection between those people and what we do in our Donnie and Marie Revival and Laser Light Show," said Bimini Gamflugel, who partners with Digby Dalhaber in their popular musical variety show. "We have a clean, fun, and uplifting entertainment experience."

The comments of local Blues legend, Sonny "Bug Splat" Williams could not be printed in these pages, with regards to either Uberflassen's discovery or his desires towards Bimini Gamflugal.




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